REALIZING THE PURPOSE

Soooo.....To God be all the GLORY for the things he has done, and for all the things he is lining me up for in the future! I give him all the Glory for the for whatever he is preparing me for in this season! I just wanted to start out by saying that I received an email early this morning saying that this blog has been put on the list of top 100 Christian Womens' Blog on Feedspot.com! I thank God that his message through me is on this platform, and after starting this blog only 4 days ago!!.....It's funny, because with every victory comes a test, a test to see if you will make the God decision as opposed to taking the situation into you own hands! This test came RIGHT AFTER I read that good news in my email. I called my daughter in the room to share in this good news, and she tells me that my son was pulled from his bed by a family member at 4 am, told to get dressed but not told where he was going!! Now anyone who knows me knows that my children are the single most important people in the world to me! The love I have for them is more than I can ever give to anyone else even if I had a million years to give it! I am not a very emotional person, but when it involves them, I hold nothing back! Remember from my first post, how I said that I had been drinking up all of the booze that belonged to them, but now they are taking the fact that their mad and doing whatever they want, INCLUDING TAKING MY SON OUT OF THIS HOUSE WITHOUT KNOWING!!.......now......I could trivialize this and say, I took their booze because I was feeling a certain kind of way about them and called myself doing whatever I wanted to do. I could say, BUT IT'S JUST FRIGGIN BOOZE, AND THIS IS MY KID!!.....but that would be me not sitting back and listening to what God is trying to teach me in this moment. She has done to me EXACTLY what I did to her, she has validated taking my kid without communicating with me by thinking, well that B drank all my booze and then lied about it! God is watching me in this moment, he is looking to see if I take matters into my own hands and curse her out, and drink the rest of the booze in this house, or pray and ask him to give me the words to say to her when she gets home with him! This plays directly on my major mental points. MY PRIDE: thinking, who the bleep does she think she is taking MY SON out of this house without telling me, and without leaving a note!
MY ANGER: thinking about how I'm going to curse her down to the ground, thinking about all the hateful and hurtful things that I can say to her that would completely break her spirit  to make me feel better
MY URGE FOR VENGEANCE: plotting to do as much damage as possible!
Today, I'm not taking my will, I am going to pray that he takes this anger out of my heart, and then give all of these awful feelings to him! Then I am going to ask him to please give me the words to say that will communicate how upset I am with this situation but with love. Trust me, this way is hard....SO HARD FOR ME, because if I feel that she is not getting it, or she doesn't feel anything at all, I don't want to insert SELF and change course during the conversation! I will trust in God, I will trust that he will answer my prayer even in the middle of the confrontation. I will trust that he will be right by my side leading me and guiding me, no matter the response from the other person! This test I will get though with grace, and even if the other person gets belligerent, I will keep my composure because I know that God has greater for me, and stooping down to that level will only bump me 10 steps back, instead of the 100 steps that I will jump forward! It will not be an immediate satisfaction, but God is not showing me IMMEDIATE things, because he is teaching patience, and HOW TO WAIT ON HIM!......and only by the grace of God I am learning his way this time, and I am willing to take the baby steps this time.....shoot, I am willing to take to take ANT STEPS at this point if it means not repeating the life destroying cycle that I have been on. LORD I'M  READY AND WILLING! I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU NOW AND FOREVER!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME AND KEEPING ME! THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SECOND CHANCE AFTER SECOND CHANCE AFTER SECOND CHANCE! Like I always say, I don't even know you but I love you, and most importantly GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!!! God bless always!

This is the link to the Top Christian Womens Blog site, they have something for everyone, from the lost sinner, to the mature christian. Be Blessed! https://blog.feedspot.com/christian_women_blogs/

to be continued..........