BEGINNING OF THE DEVELOPMENT

So........I am a person who is hurt by the past. I realize that every time I think of a past mistake my heart ACHES! That is a form of bondage. No matter how STRONG I think  I am, the past affects me greatly! This is just one of the many contributing factors to me repeating this cycle that I'm in! I haven't completely dealt with or forgiven myself for my past! It's deep inside mind, FESTERING, becoming a CANCER for the rest of my body and spirit. It manifest in ways like the clinching of my teeth, the constant on edge and over thinking, the tightening of my fists, the pain in my back, and the knots in my neck! I always prided myself for forgiving others, thinking that was it, WORK DONE, I'm healed from my past. I am forgetting the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF FORGIVENESS.......that is FORGIVING MYSELF! FORGIVING myself for all the pain I have caused myself and others, most of all my children. I carry a great amount of guilt in me, it's painful, and for so long I have allowed pain to DEFINE me. I can't carry this any longer, if I want to live free and not repeat old sins! Dealing with this pain by self medicating, via drugs and alcohol, has only made things EXTREMELY WORSE, and has only added on guilty feelings about current things, and more self forgiveness! I thank God for keeping me, I thank God for his grace and mercy! Without it I would be COMPLETELY DESTROYED! Without his word I wouldn't know to run to him, seek forgiveness, and have the hope of staying on the right path. Life is very hard, but I make it harder by not living the way I'm supposed to! With Gods' help I can do and achieve ANYTHING! "WHAT THEN DO WE SAY TO THESE THINGS, IF GOD BEFORE US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US!" Romans 8:31

"YET IN ALL THESE THINGS WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS THROUGH HIM THAT LOVES US! 

Romans 8:37

I don't even know you, but I love you, and MOST importantly God loves you MORE!


This is the link to the Top Christian Womens Blog site, they have something for everyone, from the lost sinner, to the mature christian. Be Blessed! https://blog.feedspot.com/christian_women_blogs/

to be continued........