RENEWING OF THE MIND

Sooo........I did get into the word of God this afternoon. I read a lot of the scriptures that I highlighted back when I was a faithful christian. Maybe all the studying I did in the past, and all the highlighting I did, was for this moment in my life. Every verse I read was encouraging and reinforced the message that God loves me and will never leave me! It was so good to get back in the word. That was something that I used to crave everyday, for my personal spiritual up building. It didn't turn into something else until my pastor told me that she saw ministry in me and that I would most likely be in the pulpit delivering a message to Gods' people! After I heard that, instead of taking a HUMBLE approach, I immediately went out and bought a notebook, and started jotting down what I thought THUS SAYETH THE LORD, lol. I inserted pride and overconfidence, instead of humbleness and the desire to continue to learn about who I was becoming in the Lord. I went straight to, I HAVE ARRIVED, instead of building up my personal relationship with God. I was still new to Christ at that point, and I was still on shaky ground. I was not on a solid foundation at all, but I enveloped this feeling of superiority to all the other new Christians and most of the old ones, if you can believe that. Constantly comparing myself as a mother, a women, a christian, against everyone else who I felt was lacking just a little bit in their walk in Christ. Just because you don't openly talk about someone to others, doesn't mean that you won't let off that haughty vibe when your around them. My vibes speak more than the actual words that come out of my mouth. This is something that used still kind of brings on an intense feeling of guilt. The way I paraded around like I was the best new christian to ever do it. The saying 'Pride comes before the fall' is the truest thing I have every heard. Not more than 2 weeks after my beloved pastor gave me that prophetic word, I relapsed and used cocaine. TWO WEEKS, JUST TWO WEEKS, there wasn't a break down in my mental state, no emotional break down, I just thought about it and did it. No questions asked, it was one of the most shameful times in my life. I hated myself for that, but the very next weekend, BOOM, the same thing. Leading up to the 24 hour eviction notice I received on my door one week before Christmas. 24 hours, I hadn't been that devastated ever before in my life! I lost 90% of my life as we as my children. EVERYTHING, the only thing we left out of that apartment with was our clothes and the Christmas gifts I already purchased for them. Something I have a hard time forgiving myself for, that will take a lot of work. It needs to be done because forgiveness is the breeding ground for the devil, PERIOD! Here are a couple of verses that encouraged me on today, I hope you find them encouraging for you as well, and seek the Lord for yourself! I know I don't know you but I love you, and most importantly GOD LOVES YOU MORE! MORE THAN YOU EVER CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!


This is the link to the Top Christian Womens Blog site, they have something for everyone, from the lost sinner, to the mature christian. Be Blessed! https://blog.feedspot.com/christian_women_blogs/

In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears! Psalms 18:6

For thy name's sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity for it is great!
Psalms 25:11

Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9