I do indeed have a TESTIMONY! Not a God came and scooped me and my children up, and GAVE us a home, and GAVE me a job, and GAVE me financial stability! I remember in one of my old posts, I compared this relationship with God like a parent and child relationship! What do you call a child who is just GIVEN everything? What do you call a child that has a parent that doesn't hold them RESPONSIBLE for their horrible actions, and doesn't make them humble themselves and apologize, and still rewards them??!!! A SPOILED CHILD!!! A spoiled child is ruined when it becomes of an adult age, it will not be able to handle life as it is! They will not be able to hold on to healthy relationships and will be entitled no matter how they behave! So, the miracle that happened in my life yesterday was the miracle of ACCOUNTABILITY!! That's it, I was able to have a conversation with the lady of the house, my step mother, a women who has taken me and my children in despite being separated from my father for well over 10 years! A women who I took advantage of, and hurt while staying here! I was able to be honest, listen to what she had to say, not diminish her feelings, and face the hurt and pain that I have caused by my actions! If you knew me, and you can probably get a little bit of a feeling of me if you read my posts from the beginning, I am not the type of person who does that AT ALL! I saw as me giving my life back to God as the end all, I really had it in my brain that 1.God had forgiven me
2. I learned to forgive myself
3. .......and if everyone else doesn't forgive me that's on THEM NOT ME!
Me giving my life back to God and being faithful to him, doesn't mean he will just come down, "rescue me" from a situation that I have made a mess of WITHOUT FACING THE EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL CONSEQUENCES! What would I have learned if He done that! I would have become complacent REAL QUICK, and after I was settled in, I would have been smoking, drinking, and doing cocaine by Thanksgiving! FACTS!! That's how immature in Christ I am, and I am happy to admit that! I still have a lot to learn, God is building up my character! He can't just drop a MAJOR BLESSING in my lap, knowing I'm not mature enough in the spirit to handle it! WHEW! I have been granted a "stay of execution", so I can stay for now, but I have a lot of making up to do! This will DEFINITELY build my character, and God can show his CHANGING power through me, as I live in this house, I need to be an example to my brother and sister! I realize that I mean a lot more to them than I thought! The devil has convinced me for so long that no one REALLY cares, and all I have is myself! ISN'T THAT ABUSIVE! He has isolated me from people so he can beat me up! NOT ANYMORE DEVIL! I have to split this into TWO POSTS because this is getting very long lol! I am so excited that God is taking His time with me! ok ok...I'm done for now, but if your reading this I love you, and GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVERY IMAGINE!
This is the link to the Top Christian Womens Blog site, they have something for everyone, from the lost sinner, to the mature christian. Be Blessed! https://blog.feedspot.com/christian_women_blogs/
TO BE CONTINUED..PART 2 IS NEXT....
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